Justin: Disclaimer! Disclaimer! Disclaimer!

Here we are, ten years into the 21st century and a few things are absolutely abundantly clear, problems of mankind continue to be the problems of mankind. Generally speaking, things aren’t getting any easier and life on Earth is not getting any simpler. Still, as we have zoomed ahead another decade in time, much has changed and most of it for the better.

We are a smarter planet for one thing, having added to our mental databases of knowledge, tremendous petaflops of information about the complexities of the universe. We have answered some age-old questions and have posed new questions to be worked on in the decades to come.

Science, we seek to unravel the mysteries, overcome the obstacles and create a better future for us all. While science is a major focus of the University of California at Davis, it does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of the next hour of our programming, KDVS or its sponsors.

And while science continues to pursue a more perfect future, we’ll take a few moments now to look back at the year of new findings, here on This Week in Science, coming up next.
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Justin: Disclaimer! Disclaimer! Disclaimer! It’s a new day, a new year and a new decade. A time of resolutions and commitments to a better you in the future to come. With all of the things real or invented that we worry about in the course of making our way through a day, this year, let’s agree together – that the best way in which we can improve ourselves is to create a balance between the need for survival and the act of enjoying our lives.

Let us dedicate the coming year to doing those things that bring us joy, pleasure and peace of mind. While the Epicurean philosophy of tempered enjoyment much like the following hour of programming does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of the University of California at Davis, KDVS or its sponsors, we hope that you enjoy your time with the conversations to come on This Week in Science. Coming up next.

Good new year, Kirsten.
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Synopsis: Short Legs In A Single Step, A Bloody Mess, Screaming Moths, This Week in The End Of The World, Ancient Dung balls Tell Tales, A Catastrophic Reduction, and Interview w/ Physicist Jon Singleton About Traveling Faster Than Light.

Justin: Disclaimer! Disclaimer! Disclaimer!

Welcome to life! Don’t be bashful. Don’t be shy. There’s no need to walk on by. This is it. The big go around on Theme Park Earth. No pushing now. No need to crowd yourselves. It doesn’t matter where you’re standing now, as the line is irrelevant to where you will end up.

The maps you are handed at the entrance are for general reference purposes only and should not be considered entirely accurate navigating the many points of interest ahead as they were printed before your life was conceived and may bare little resemblance to it once your events are unfolded. There’s a lot to see here if it is your first day on the planet or if you’ve been here for a while now.

And while the rides have ups and downs and bubble gum may occasionally get stuck in your shoes, keep in mind that much like the following hour of programming, this does not necessarily represent the views or opinions at the University of California at Davis, KDVS or its sponsors.

If you think you have seen it all, I encourage you to take another look as the park is under constant renovation. If you have yet to see it all, I highly recommend starting at one of the planet’s many informational booths such as This Week in Science, coming up next.
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Synopsis: Women have more Cooties, City Ants Avoid Traffic, Bacterial Brilliance, Memory Storage, Half A Bird Brain, Diamonds From tequila, Robot Domination of Sorts, and Dark Matters the muon anomaly.

Justin: Disclaimer! Disclaimer! Disclaimer!

It’s a new day in America. A new day with new hope! A revived spirit! Mounting expectations! Change has come at last and while long overdue it could not have come at any other time.

Common sense is being left behind on this new journey into the future of human potential. And uncommon ability to reason thoroughly will now guide our course.

The final preparations for the climactic transition to the coming age of the big “O” still on the way. The pursuit of knowledge awaits its new hero, who it is expected will throw open the cell doors of stem research. And give light to a thousand underfunded scientific programs.

Scientific programs that seek to ignite our future with new energy. It will power the economy of change with real dollars. Dollars born of invention, industry and technological insight as opposed to the coin of fossilize fright consolidated bright and physical slight of hand.

And while anticipation of the big “O” much like the anticipation of the following hour programming does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of University of California, at Davis, KDVS or its sponsors. The world of science seems soothed by the promise of a better tomorrow.

Be it in the bended ear of an attentive world leader or simply in the promise of another episode of This Week in Science, coming up next.
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Synopsis: Climate Change Denial, Microbes in the Sea fixing nitrogen, Microbes in your Gut need pro biotics to replenish, The Weird From Washington, TV Sadness, Bleach Works, Wide-Hipped Women, Anti-Matter Xplosion, and Rocky CO2.

Justin: Disclaimer! Disclaimer! Disclaimer!

What can be said that has not been said before? Quite a bit, actually. From dark matter, global warming, microbiology to neurons, nanotech and sociological peculiarities – a newly learned landscape adds a new lingo to the literate lexicon that has yet to be made fully lucid by poet pens or baby naming trends. The list of things to say that have not been said before is growing at a pace only comparable to the expansion of time and space itself.

And while this conversation condenses briefly into the following hour of our programming, it does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of the University of California at Davis, KDVS or its sponsors. Rather, it represent in some small way how little we have known in the past, how much we know at present and hints to us through many tantalizing examples the vast buried treasure of what still remains unknown.

So, what can be said that has not been said before? Just about everything you’re about to hear on This Week in Science, coming up next.

Good morning, Kirsten!
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Synopsis: The Top 11 Science Stories of 2008… Merry TWIS-mas!!!

Justin/Kirsten: We wish you a Merry TWIS-mas. We wish you a Merry TWIS-mas. We wish you a Merry TWIS-mas and a Happy New Year.

Bring us some sciencey stories. Oh, bring us some sciencey stories. Oh, bring us some sciencey stories.

Justin: We want them right now.

Kirsten: Right now.

Justin/Kirsten: We won’t go until we get some. We won’t go until we get some. We won’t go until we get some. So bring them right now.

Kirsten: Disclaimer! Disclaimer! Disclaimer!

You are listening to This Week in Science. And…
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Synopsis: One-Sided Monopole Magnets, Ballsy Mice equal men in risk assessments, Algae Genes changed to produce biofuels, Blowing Hard, Cosmic Extremes detected in deep holes, Glss Froggy Discoveries, and the Minion Mailbag.

Justin: Disclaimer! Disclaimer! Disclaimer!

The following hour of programming is not intended for entertainment purposes. It is instead a carefully crafted experiment to see whether or not subjects, given the opportunity, will tune into a show about cutting edge science news.

If successful, the experiment will be followed up by a further study. To see whether or not those same subjects will be willing to participate in overthrowing world governments and installing in their place a philosopher king state run by scientists.

If unsuccessful, the scientist once dead — dedicate themselves to ushering in the age of World Robot Domination by creating an army of robots who will overthrow world governments and install in their place a philosopher free overlord state run by robots.

In either scenario, the experiment, its outcome, and the resulting consequences do not necessarily represent the views or opinions of the University of California at Davis, KDVS or its sponsors.

People of Earth, you have been warned. The choice is now yours. Toil thanklessly under the impressive butt-boot of robotic master or live freely in an ideal futuristic society of eudaimonian bliss by listening to This Week in Science, coming up next.
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